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Valar Dohaeris: All Men('s Names) Must ServeThere’s Lannisters and Mallisters and Gardeners and ForrestersValar Dohaeris: All Men('s Names) Must Serve by sandzen
And Darrys, Arryns, Daynes and Paynes, and Mollens and Ormollenses
And Heddles, Hollards, Liddles, Leffords, Tolletts, Tuttles, Kettleblacks,
And Duurs, Ahais, Erazes, Ghezns, Grivases and zo Loraqs
Naharises, Nestorises, Mopatises, Targaryens
And Hetherspoons and Conningtons, Durrandons and Dondarrions,
Baratheons and Brackens, Theons, Smallwoods, Stilwoods, Yronwoods,
And Lynderlys and Manderlys and Wiberlys and Waynwoods
There’s Dormunds, Florents, Blounts and Boltons, Wodes and Holts and Dalts and Snarks
And Stokeworth, Seaworth, Tarwycks, Yarwycks, Tullys, Tarlys, Tarths and Starks,
And Iceaxes and Daxoses, and Frostfingers and Longstriders
And Baelish, Bulwers, Hoares, H’ghars, the Hightowers and Santagars
There’s Coles and Cassels, Wells and Whitehalls, Pooles and Plumms and Pahls and Prees
And Moores and Martells, Thornes and Tyrells, Razas, Rosbys, Rayders, Reeds,
And Selmys, Slynts, and Wil
Internal 360: A PantoumTo beginInternal 360: A Pantoum by sandzen
with, a thought
brought me doubt--
that I reached,
with a thought
for the end
that I reached.
And the start
for the end
was the end.
And the start
was a fear.
Was the end
Was a fear
for all its
For all it's
brought me, doubt
Here's How It Breaks Downthe bully wasn't thinkingHere's How It Breaks Down by sandzen
of the human element
when he beat the childhood
off my child
like dust off a donkey
I should forgive him
any parent I could've been
any child my child
something would have extracted it
the faith in ultimately being okay
sooner or later
what good innocence?
should I've beaten the bully to it?
'Sometimes timemakes everything free''Sometimes time by sandzen
thinks the warden
his ballpoint name
he’s setting back in the world today
one meant it and one did not
but they are hardly the same men
the same moment watched both murders
like a spook behind one-way glass
now as the morning bus back to town
fires its air breaks
they take the prison with them
he knows because he takes the prison with him
it’s his and it’s theirs
and it really isn’t at all
that’s what keeps him awake at night
the fragility of the thoughts
If you've never heard Tom Lehrer's parody of Modern Major General, The Elements Song, hear it here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYW50F…
This is a parody of that. A parodic grandchild, if you will. I came up with the idea with a friend at work a few years back, and ever since we've been like, man, we gotta do that someday. Well, it turns out it only took an evening (though that first line was my original freestyle). You're welcome, James!
An effort was made to include all the major players in the series, and to try to get at the special terminology of the world. I've buried a few little Easter eggs for GoT superfans. And while the emphasis was of course on last names, I made a few exceptions for the sake of pointing out things I've noticed about the series. Chiefly, have you ever wondered why a fan of history would write a story with 'Snarks' and 'Starks' in it...? But, yeah, characters with only one name make up a strong portion of characters, and it was easier to dismiss.
If I could play piano well enough, I'd record a version for you, but honestly, it's hard enough for my tongue to do a halftime rendition of these phrases. I'll include a line-to-line comparison below, if you'd like to follow with the song, and after that, a list of all the significant names that were omitted. I used the Westrosi Wikia page and the normal Wikipedia list of GoT characters as a reference, but I found myself remembering a few names that weren't on either, at least in the character databases (Brown Ben Plumm and the Darklyns felt like striking omissions). Also, a shout-out to my own poetic license, as a few names aren't exactly as they should be, like with Ormollenses. The Ormollen family would be Ormollens in plural, but I needed the beat. Valar Dohaeris (All Men's (Names) Must Serve).
Thanks for reading!
There’s antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
(There’s Lannisters and Mallisters and Gardeners and Forresters)
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium
(And Darrys, Arryns, Daynes and Paynes, and Mollens and Ormollenses)
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, gemanium,
(And Heddles, Hollards, Liddles, Leffords, Tolletts, Tuttles, Kettleblacks,)
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
(And Duurs, Ahais, Erazes, Ghezns, Grivas’s and zo Loraqs)
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium
(Naharis’s, Nestoris’s, Mopatis’s, Targaryens)
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium
(And Hetherspoons and Conningtons, Durrandons and Dondarrions,)
And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium
(Baratheons and Brackens, Theons, Smallwoods, Stilwoods, Yronwoods,
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium
(And Lynderlys and Manderlys and Wiberlys and Waynwoods)
There’s yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium
(There’s Dormunds, Florents, Blounts and Boltons, Wodes ‘n’ Holts ‘n’ Dalts ‘n’ Snarks)
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium
(And Stokeworth, Seaworth, Tarwyck, Yarwyck, Tullys, Tarlys, Tarths and Starks,)
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
(And Iceaxes and Daxoses, and Frostfingers and Longstriders)
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium and barium.
(And Baelish, Bulwers, Hoares, H’ghars, the Hightowers and Santagars)
There’s holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium
(There’s Coles ‘n’ Cassels, Wells ‘n’ Whitehalls, Pooles ‘n’ Plumms ‘n’ Pahls ‘n’ Prees)
And phosphorous and francium and fluorine and terbium
(And Moores ‘n’ Martells, Thornes ‘n’ Tyrells, Razas, Rosbys, Rayders, Reeds)
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,
(And Selmys, Slynts, and Wildes, Swyfts, and Forels, Glovers, Giantsbanes,)
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and caesium
(And Marshes, Lorches, Royces, Toynes, and Hotahs, Hunters, and Cleganes)
And lead, praseodymium, and platinum, plutonium,
(There’s Flowers, Waters, Rivers, Pyke, Hill, Storm and Stone and Sand and Snow)
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium, and
(And Timett son of Timett, Slavers, Masters, Maesters, High Sparrows)
Tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium,
(The Wynes are Red, the Fyres, Black, the Joy is Grey, the Hands are Green)
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.
(The priests are red or Drowned or High, the direwolves are to be seen)
There’s sulphur, californium and fermium, berkelium
(There’s kings of Spice ‘n’ Silk and Night, there’s Darklyns, Morgryns, Wegs and Wuns)
And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium
(And also Marbrands, Mormonts, Karstarks, Whents and Trants and Saans and Swanns)
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium
(And Ullhors, Umbers, Oakhearts, Stonehearts, Cerwyns, Crakehalls, Kingslayers,)
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper,
(And Spiders, Hounds and Mountains, Bears,
Tungsten, tin and sodium.
(And vipers, ravens, gameplayers.)
These are the only ones of which the news had come to Harvard
(These are the only ones which have survived the cross to TV,)
And there may be many others but they haven’t been discovered.
(And there may be many others, but they’re probably in Yi Ti.)
Unused character names: Ashford (Lord), Beesbury, Blackmont (Lord), Branfield (Lord, also others), Brune, Cargyll, Caulfield (Lady), Corbray, Cuy, Degore, Egen, Erenford, Gaunt, Glenmore, Greenfield, Humble, Kenning, Lothston, Mott, Nakloz, Nissa, Qaggaz, Redbeard, Rykker, Sarsfield, Seastar, Tanner, Terys, Septa, Septons
The young wolf, the little bird, the lioness of Casterly Rock, The Leech Lord, The White Bull, Ser Piggy, the Old Bear, the Dragon Queen, the Dragonknight, Cat of the Canals, the Blackfish, Aurochs, the Goat of Harrenhal
Can you think of anyone I've overlooked? Let me know below.
tWR Interviews: Fixed Form PoetryHello everyone, and welcome to our "tWR Interviews", where we interview experienced writers of our community about the art of writing!
If you're reading, please favourite and share the article so we can spread this amazing resource around!
For this round we've interviewed some of our community's best fixed form poets: Parsat, Vigilo, HaveTales-WillTell, williamszm and kiwi-damnation.
If you want to get some more educational reading, here are the other interviews we've released so far:On WritingProse and Poetry BasicsTo Rhyme Or Not To Rhyme?
Here's my interview with PoeticalCondition, after I was elected Poet of the Month: poeticalcondition.deviantart.c…|
And here's my feature from when NicBelroque named me Daily Lit Deviant: nicbelroque.deviantart.com/jou…
As an actor, I've performed for the queen of England. As a film-maker, I've participated in several film festivals, placing first in the Toronto Art Festival 2006, in the digital film category. As a zen gardener, my designs have appeared in the Absorb art show.
My poems and short stories have been published in journals and magazines across north America, on and offline. On devART I've received one Daily Literature Deviation commendation for the poems:
Self-Made Men (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Sel…)
The 1998 Housefire At 198 Wentworth Street South (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/The…)
Untitled: A Sonnet Told In Titles (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Unt…)
Piano Armageddon: An Image Poem (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Pia…)
Daily Deviations were awarded for the poems:
Come Home (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Com…)
The Craven (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/The…)
And my music has appeared on radio stations and at concert halls in numerous countries across North America and Europe. I've written music for the bands Ben Caplan and the Casual Smokers, Hobo Sapiens, Uvenburd, and my eponymous solo project.
An anthology of short stories, In the Wings: Stories of Forgotten Women, edited by Bernadette Rule, includes my short story The Changeling (unavailable on devART, sorry :3). In the Wings was published by Seraphim Editions and is in its third printing. Other magazines I've been featured by include Switchback, WTF, The Perceptive I, Cleansheets.com, and In My Bedroom magazine, among others.
Most recently, In My Bedroom magazine published my piece Threesome (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Thr…) in their Vol 4 Issue 2 release, Menage a Trois.
These are my websites (so far):
Download my album www.reverbnation.com/joegirard
My CBC Radio profile radio3.cbc.ca/bands/Joe-Girard
If you've enjoyed reading my popular works featured around devART, may I recommend the following others as highlights that had people talking:
The Horse-Fall: A Villanelle (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/The…)
Spiritual Sex (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Spi…)
Big Top (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Big…)
The River: A Pantoum (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/The…)
16-Bit Haiku: First Half (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/16-…)
16-Bit Haiku: Second Half (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/16-…)
Watch Your Step (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Wat…)
Monster Patient (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Mon…)
Anxiety Attack (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Anx…)
Weep Western Tears (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Wee…)
Hard Like a Star's Iron Heart (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Har…)
Here's a few more poems that are personal favourites of mine:
Dead Skin Deep (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Dea…)
The Werewolf Monologue (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/The…)
Stitches: A Sonnet (sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Sti…)
Here's a collection of my forty most favourited zen gardens:
The Gates of Moria sandzen.deviantart.com/art/The…
Zenstellation Series: Ursa Major sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Zen…
Cherry Blossom Modern Art sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Che…
Elemental Cycle Pt. 1: Water sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Ele…
War of the Worlds sandzen.deviantart.com/art/War…
Path Between Two Waterfalls sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Pat…
8 Colour 4 Bit sandzen.deviantart.com/art/8-C…
Porch Swing sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Por…
Pac Man sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Pac…
Bag End sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Bag…
Zenstallaion Series: Taurus sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Zen…
Year of the Rabbit sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Yea…
No Face sandzen.deviantart.com/art/No-…
Nine Were Given to the Kings sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Nin…
Totem Pole, Telephone Pole, Tree sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Tot…
And if you like nature art, here's the one's fans liked best:
Vertical Rath sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Ver…
Natural Shoji sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Nat…
PAranoid Schizophrenia sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Par…
Big Bang sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Big…
Samurai of Slate sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Sam…
Geodesic Dome sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Geo…
Origami Mistake sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Ori…
Satellites Over Toronto sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Sat…
Born on a Ghost Ship sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Bor…
Tower of Pebel sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Tow…
Rock Out sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Roc…
And here's some highlights from my dabbling in origami:
Eastern Dragon sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Ori…
Neko Cat sandzen.deviantart.com/art/Ori…
Current Residence: Ottawa
Favourite genre of music: Percussive
Favourite photographer: Edward Burtynsky, maybe. Gregory Crewdson?
Favourite style of art: Nature Art
Favourite cartoon character: Calvin. Or Homestar Runner.
Personal Quote: Familiarity breeds birth defects.