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May 26, 2010
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It's the Endocardium As We Know it (And I Feel Fine)

That's great, it starts with a heart rate,
Palpitate arterial veins
My Mitral Valve is unafraid

Eat up a sugarcane, listen to your heart burn,
Lub serves its own needs, dubby serve your own needs,
Speed it up a notch: beat lungs, no, chest,
The bladder makes you fatter with pee bright yellow might
Fire up the wires beating 72 per minute
In a ventricle that's higher at a low-fat site.
Oxygen is coming through the larynx and pharynx
Breathing down your neck.

Beat by beat the quarters strangled, lumped, weathered, stopped.
Look at that fat chain.

Fine, then, uh oh, overflow, masticate the common food,
it won't do to save yourself, serve yourself organic snow peas
listen to your heart beat, dummy with a tummy feeling crummy
fat is quite light. You might have colic, diastolic-jam
bright white light fuzzing out your sight.

It's the endocardium as we know it. (I guess I'm just some bones)
It's the endocardium as we know it. (I guess I'm just some bones)
It's the endocardium as we know it  (I guess I'm just some bones)
and I feel fine.


Six O'clock – me, in OR. Doctor washing in the shower,
Then they learn, it's heartburn, listen to my chest churn
Logarithmic, hemolytic, borborygmic. Antalgic:
Every motion in my gait. Tell me I should lose some weight
Might dismantle eating habits, chow down, chow down,
Watch me feel crushed, flushed, uh oh,
this means no beer, rack of deer, lemonade, a near year.
A tourniquet, a tourniquet, a tourniquet of twine.
Offer me alternative medicine, a sedative, and I decline.

It's the endocardium as we know it. (I guess I'm just some bones)
It's the endocardium as we know it. (I guess I'm just some bones)
It's the endocardium as we know it (I guess I'm just some bones)
and I feel fine.

The other night I ate some limes, continental breakfast time,
Fountains in my chest chime, last breath: sublime.
"Lay it in," says nurse, driving hearse, "It could be worse.
A birthday party cheesecake heart attack, boom!
He did have colic, diastolic-jam, but we were right. Right?

It's the endocardium as we know it. (I guess I'm just some bones)
It's the endocardium as we know it. (I guess I'm just some bones)
It's the endocardium as we know it (I guess I'm just some bones)
and I feel fine.
See R.E.M. lyrics at end of author\'s notes.

Hear me perform an extremely rough one-take version here: [link]

Hear the original song at YouTube:
[link]

I wrote the first few lines of this as a way of helping me study for my anatomy/physiology classes, but it quickly turned into fairly uninformative fun, so I abandoned the project realizing that, unlike other songs I had written for class, this one wouldn\'t help me remember anything.

I picked the project back up when I heard about a challenge here on DevArt this week (at the group PoetryEvolution) to rewrite famous song lyrics. I recorded a very simple, rough, one-take version of my lyrics (with some embarrassing mistakes; but do you think Michael Stipe did it in one take?) that I\'ll post on one of my sites later today.

Here\'s a glossary to help you understand what the song is about.

Endocardium: the thin, smooth membrane that lines the inside of the chambers of the heart and forms the surface of the valves

Palpitate: Beat rapidly, irregularly, or strongly (of the heart)

Arterial veins: So called because it ramifies like an artery (portal vein) or because, while proceeding from the heart like an artery, it contains unoxygenated blood, like a vein (pulmonary artery).

Mitral Valve: also known as the bicuspid valve, this divides the blood coming in from the aorta and the blood getting ready to re-enter the body

Lub and dub: the sounds the heart makes beating

Ventricle: Either of the two lower quadrants of the heart

Larynx: the passage air takes to the lungs which includes the voice cords; also known as the voice box

Pharynx: the cavity behind the nose and mouth connecting with the esophagus and larynx

\"The Quarters\": refers to the four quarters of the heart

Fat Chain: fats come in three basic length types, which helps one determine their value in the body for health. Short chain fats tend to be better for you.

Masticate: ten dollar word for \"chew\"

Colic: severe abdominal pain caused by gas in the intestines (typical in babies)

Diastolic: referring to the period when the heart is filling with blood (as opposed to systolic, which refers to the blood being pumped out)

OR: Operating Room

Hemolytic: relating to the rupture and destruction of red blood cells

Borborygmic: relating to borborygmy, which is the medical term for the gurgling sound a stomach makes

Antalgic: A type of gait (walking style) where the person is limping in order to take pain away from a load-bearing structure (knees, hips, etc.)

Gait: Walking style

Tourniquet: a device stopping the flow of blood to an artery by compressing a limb tightly with a cord or bandage

Okay.

So I went to school for massage, but the school I went to was multidisciplinary and included a lot of natural health sciences. So I\'m pretty sympathetic to their plight as a result of being deluged by the people and their beliefs. That\'s why this song is critical of allopathic medicine (conventional Western medicine), as well as alternative (or, as we say, integrative) medicine.

And for anybody who might be tricked into believing I can sing It\'s The End Of The World As We Know It, this was indeed partly inspired by the idea that it might help me learn Stipe\'s lyrics, but, alas. My version actually rhymes a lot better than his, and tells an actual story as opposed to his fractured, imagistic, referential approach. So, ironically, I taught myself how to sing my own song, but not theirs.

-

It\'s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
by R.E.M.

That\'s great, it starts with an earthquake,
birds and snakes, an aeroplane
and Lenny Bruce is not afraid.

Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn -
world serves its own needs, dummy serve your own needs.
Feed it off an aux speak, grunt, no, strength,
the Ladder start to clatter with fear fight down height.
Wire in a fire, representing seven games,
and a government for hire at a combat site.
Left of west and coming in a hurry with the furys
breathing down your neck.
Team by team reporters baffled, trumped, tethered cropped.
Look at that low plane.

Fine, then. Uh oh, overflow, population, common food,
but it\'ll do to Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs,
listen to your heart bleed dummy with the rapture and the revered
and the right, right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam,
fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched.

It\'s the end of the world as we know it.
It\'s the end of the world as we know it.
It\'s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

Six o\'clock - TV hour. Don\'t get caught in foreign towers.
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn.
Lock it in, uniforming, book burning, blood letting.
Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate.
Light a candle, light a motive. Step down, step down.
Watch your heel crush, crushed, uh-oh,
this means no fear cavalier. Renegade steer clear!
A tournament, tournament, a tournament of lies.
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline.

It\'s the end of the world as we know it. (I guess I\'m not alone)
It\'s the end of the world as we know it. (I guess I\'m not alone)
It\'s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide.
Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein.
Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.
Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom!
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam bug net, right? Right.

It\'s the end of the world as we know it. (I guess I\'m not alone)
It\'s the end of the world as we know it. (I guess I\'m not alone)
It\'s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...
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:iconanapests-and-ink:
anapests-and-ink Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Oh goodnes, that's fantastic. You hit it right on.
Reply
:iconsandzen:
sandzen Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2011   General Artist
Haha, thanks.
Reply
:iconlaacquaalta:
LaAcquaAlta Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2011
:D
Reply
:iconsekatsim:
sekatsim Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
I want to HEAR this :D
Reply
:iconsandzen:
sandzen Featured By Owner May 28, 2010   General Artist
Well, fuckin' go to my MySpace. It should be there. [link]
Reply
:iconsekatsim:
sekatsim Featured By Owner May 28, 2010
haha. I should have read more closely. awesome. just what the doctor ordered.
Reply
:icontheanoraknophobe:
TheAnoraknophobe Featured By Owner May 26, 2010
Cunning~
Reply
:iconsandzen:
sandzen Featured By Owner May 27, 2010   General Artist
*doffs top hat with a curtsy*
Reply
:iconhoney-vinegar:
honey-vinegar Featured By Owner May 26, 2010
This is epic :D loved every line of it, what a great and unusual idea :)
Reply
:iconsandzen:
sandzen Featured By Owner May 27, 2010   General Artist
That seems to be the sort of idea I'm cursed with (the unusual part, anyway). Thanks for the kind words!
Reply
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