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Submitted on
April 1, 2010
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Delicately placing light bulb in trash
Delicately climbing in through the window
Delicately cracking breakfast on the rim of the pan

Delicately planning future with the lawyer
Delicately pulling the skin off the foot
Delicately appraising the new music

Delicately allowing the thoughts to flow
Delicately eating
Delicately closing eyes against the showerhead

Delicately accepting the pain inside
Like some respectable host
Like, pile it on the bed in the room no one uses
But the doors are urgent now
Bending
With the weight
A barn door kind of red
Like aliens arriving outside
To take away, but run without
And everything's bursting behind and now
Captured, kicking and thrusting, feet waving goodbye
Like new angels

Beamed away

Delicately watching the needle change hands
Delicately seeing through the passenger windshield
Delicately taking the steps back inside
An award-winning poet/author with several books to her name once described this piece as a "good" poem, which is, to this date, some of the highest praise I've ever received, considering.

This one draws on my experiences on the meds, but is more imaginative and less autobiographical.
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:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I like how the use of the word "delicately" greatly puts forward this state of fragility which underlines the theme of medication and constraint quite well and the imagery in general is strong and intense. The light bulb is also a quirky kind of word which was quite effective in getting my attention xD

Overall, nice work :)
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:iconsandzen:
sandzen Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2011   General Artist
Thanks. Yeah, sometimes I wonder if that first line is the only one worth a darn in the piece. It's specific, and I love specific. There's a story at work, but I feel it's being deliberately obscured for a mood that would be better sacrificed for story. Anyway, strictly speaking on mood, yeah, I agree with your thoughts, and thank you for them.

As always, you do me honour.
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:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, that's a realisation I'm realising more and more...the specifics and subtleties are fascinating...even the silence, to quote Woolf.

Well the piece worked as a whole anyway. You're welcome.
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:iconenigmaticsmile:
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This is amazing. I can't say enough about it. Truly, yes, amazing.
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:iconsandzen:
sandzen Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2011   General Artist
Lol, thanks. I had to pay a big price to be able to write it, but perhaps it was worth it, no?
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:iconenigmaticsmile:
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
If you believe in your art, then "yes". :)
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:iconjennifercrane:
JenniferCrane Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2011
I want to always wave goodbye with my feet, like new angels.
even if doing so leads me into the valley of split infinitives.

Startling imagery (which in my book is the best kind.)
Kudos.
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:iconsandzen:
sandzen Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2011   General Artist
Lol, thanks a lot.

And it'll be nothing but compound split infinitives for the likes of you!
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:iconjennifercrane:
JenniferCrane Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2011
haha!
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:iconnakedzen:
nakedzen Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Should it be "respectable guest"? Other than that, I like it a lot -- unless you are meant to be the respectable host, in which case I'd use a different word than respectable to try to get at the idea that you accept the pain out of a sense of duty.

Just my thoughts :)
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